


Desperate Measures

by kompulsivelyKapricious



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bullying, Explicit Language, GamTav - Freeform, Gay, Language, Love, M/M, Other, Violence, gamkar - Freeform, hate love, m/m - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 10:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2021004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kompulsivelyKapricious/pseuds/kompulsivelyKapricious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're an innocent fucking bystander to all of it! You don't deserve any of the shit you're going through. But the universe has a sick fucking sense of humor, and you seem to be it's favorite joke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desperate Measures

You were being your typically innocent self, simply walking down the hall to your next class when it happened. Actually you had been expecting it to happen for quite some time now, simply because you weren’t very popular among the masses and you are not as innocent as you claim to be. You’re actually extremely confrontational. You’re working on it, but you’re also pretty sure it’s going to be a lost cause. You just can’t help running your mouth when someone is being a bigger asshole than you.

Anyway, you’re walking down the hall to you’re next class when you’re yanked backwards by the hood of your jacket. You make a pathetic choking noise, drop your books,and allow yourself to hit the ground.

"You son of a bitch, Strider. You are the biggest asshole on the face of this God forsaken planet. No, you’re the biggest and most disgusting shit stain on the fabric of reality. I bet God wonders what the hell he was thinking when he created you." You snap. "He probably wants to kill himself because you were such an awful creation but he can’t cause he’s fucking immortal. Do us all a favor and go fall in a very big, very bottomless fucking hole.

"Oh," a female voice chuckled maniacally. "Did poor Karkles finally get his period? You’ve got to be PMS’ing when you’re in a mood as foul as this!"

"Jesus Christ… Vriska!" You try to get to your feet, knowing that staying on the ground would be the stupidest idea ever, but you’re immediately shoved back—face first—against the tile. You grunt and slump against the floor.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"I shouldn’t say revenge." She mutters, eyeing her nails in a detached manner. "It doesn’t sound proper on a lady’s tongue, but I’m afraid I can’t think of a better word."

"What have I done to you?" You snap angrily. God she was crazy.

"Oh, nothing. I guess I’m bored, and I’m going to blame my boredom on you this time. My last victim was booooring!" She laughed in a way that made your breakfast decide to say hello to your throat. "I know you’ll be more entertaining Karkles. Hm… or maybe you won’t. Let’s find out!"

You’re yanked up by your hood again and slammed against the nearest locker. You shout in pain, but the bell has already rung and the band room wasn’t very far from where you stood. No one would be able to hear you.

"Very good, Karkles. Do you like that nickname? I came up with it myself!" She wrenched you away from the lockers and slammed you against them again. "Tell me you like it!"

"Fuck off, Serket!"

"Ha ha!" You felt her close in on you, and you got the sense that she was a spider and you were her prey. It was a stupid feeling of course, but you couldn’t shake it. "Oh, yes, you’re already proving to be much more entertaining! But I’m feeling in the mood for a bit of torture. Wanna scream, Karkles? What do you sound like when you scream?"

She grabs a fistful of your hair and yanks your head back until you’re looking at her upside down. She’s got this look in her eyes that makes you feel like she’s going to eat you alive. If you didn’t know any better, you could have sworn she’d flashed a pair of fangs when she smiled.

"Oh, Karkles, you didn’t make a noise. But I do know a much more sensitive place to hit you." Her breath fanned across your neck, making you shiver, and you felt her knee hit the lockers directly between your legs. She lifted her leg and pressed it hard against your groin. You grimaced in discomfort. "I’ll do it."

"Vriska." You bang your forehead against the locker trying to figure out something to say so she wouldn’t attempt a castration. But you had nothing.

"Hm? What did you say Karkles, I’m afraid I didn’t quite catch that!" Her leg twitched upwards, stopping just shy of your groin, and your whole body goes rigid. You immediately stand on your tiptoes in a pathetic attempt to soften a blow that didn’t happen. She laughed wickedly.

“Jeez Karkat, don’t be such a spoil sport. You’re allowed to beg for mercy.”

"If begging for mercy entitles looking like a pathetic fucking child, you can forget it!"

She tutted. “Your funeral.”

Vriska lowered her leg slowly, and then without warning, slammed it upwards as hard as she could, stopping again just before she hit you. You shrieked but was held firmly in place by her hands on your shoulders.

"SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!" You scream, fighting against her grip. "I hate you! Why the fuck do you think you have the goddamn right--"

"Ah, ah Karkles. Careful with that sharp tongue of yours. I might bite it off." You feel one of her hands on your waist and you twitch away from her touch. She cackles and digs her knee into your crotch. You grunt and try and push away from the lockers but Vriska was part of the girl's wrestling team. You're fucked.

"Do you like this, hm?" She kicks your legs apart further and replaces her knee with her hand. "I bet you're still a virgin, Karkles. Probably never had your dick touched before."

You wish you could spit on her. "And you're probably not a virgin; I bet you've been fucked so many times you can't even feel it anymore."

"Ha!" She laughed loudly. "You're reactions are so cute. They just make me melt."

"I wish you'd melt into nonexistence. I take it back. Strider is not the biggest and most disgusting shit stain on the fabric of reality; you are!"

"Oh, Karkles, you sure do know how to woo the ladies." She muttered sarcastically. "Do you always repeat yourself? Shut up and scream already."

Vriska removes her hand, and in one swift movement, slams her knee into your crotch so hard the edges of your vision go black. "JESUS FUCK--"

Fire has ignited every single inch of your nether regions, and she is shaking you, laughing so hard it makes your sides hurt just listening to her gasping for breath. "Oh-oh, I can’t breathe! That was hilarious Karkles, really you’re not as boooring as that other stupid lump."

She tossed you to the ground, still chuckling, and began dragging you down the hall.

"You got what you wanted, Serket, so what the fuck are you doing now?" You wheezed. You didn’t believe something could hurt so badly.

"I guess you could say a little bit of extra torture for good measure. It’s the last class of the day, and so I won’t have enough time to find someone else to fuck with. You’ve provided me with super awesome amounts of entertainment though." You groan and just remain limp, trying to find it in yourself to just stop caring.

You actually hadn’t deserved a bit of this particular beating. Had it been Strider, like you’d originally thought—he loved to yank on your jacket hood—then you would have deserved it. The two of you always went at it back and forth, actually to the point of people asking if you two were dating! The gall…

"Here we are, Karkles!" Vriska yanked you harshly from the ground and made you face a dark closet. "Hey, Clown Face, I brought you a friend!"

Vriska unceremoniously shoved you into the alarmingly small closet--the kind of small that reminded you of a clown car--and slammed the door shut. The sound of a lock clicking made you sag in defeat. But at least whatever you were sagging in defeat against was really fucking comfortable.

And something else. Strangely familiar?

"Hey, Karbro. Did the Spider get you, too?"

"Gamzee!" You try and move away from him, but the other side of the closet is keeping you pretty much shoved up against him. The two of you are pretty much tangled in mop handles and each other’s limbs. Fucking great. "How the fucking hell did she get you?"

"Well bro, I was sitting in the library, just listening to some mother fucking music right, and all of the sudden I feel a tugging in my hair." He moves his hands as he tries explain, hitting you in the face a lot. "Sorry bro, I didn’t mean to all up and hit you. Anyway, she does that creepy cackling thing she’s got going on. She tries to beat me up and says mean things, but I just tell her, ‘Aw shit sis, it’s cool. If you’re bored I got your back,’ and she just got all kinds of irritated and dragged me into this mother fucking closet by my ear. That shit hurt bro."

He reaches up to rub his ear, smacking you again, and tries apologizing for the millionth time. You flail angrily and swear so much you can even feel Gamzee flinching.

"Calm down bro, stress ain’t good for the blood pumper."

"It’s called a heart, you fucking moron!" He doesn’t say anything for a long time. But when he does you wished you were deaf.

“We haven’t been this close in two years, Karbro.”

"And I think there’s a fucking reason!" You snap, trying once again to get away. You only seem to get tangled further. "Jesus, Gamzee, when was the last time you showered?"

"Ya know, I don’t really remember."

"Jesus Christ, Gam…"

"I miss that nickname coming out of your mouth, bro." He’s whispering and you can feel his breath against the top of your head. "You never talk to me anymore."

"Well there’s a reason for that, too." You grumble. "Do you even fucking remember?"

"Of course." He actually sounds insulted. "I wouldn’t all up and forget something that hurt that mother fuckin’ much bro."

"Oh." You’re genuinely speechless. What the hell are you supposed to say to that? "I’m sorry."

"Aw shit mother fucker, it’s not your place to apologize." He sighs and you hear his head whack against the wall. He’s frustrated. When was the last time you’d seen him act anything other than aloof or whatever? You were intrigued. "You were right bro, those things were fucking me up real good."

"The drugs you mean."

"Yeah bro." You can feel him nodding. "It was like, I couldn’t stop, and then when you said you didn’t want me no more, I think it got worse. My bro found me in the bathroom unconscious; out like a light you know. Had to go to the hospital and shit." You were silent as he continued explaining himself. "And like, when I woke up, I was all like to hope you might hear and run back to make sure I was good, you know, but you didn’t. You never did, and so I was like to think, man, I really mother fucking messed up."

He paused, and with your head against his chest, you could feel his heart pick up speed and stutter uncontrollably. "And Karbro, I didn’t mean to hurt you like I did, I—"

"Hey." You keep your voice quiet and relax against him. "Don’t worry about it Gam. I believe you."

"Seriously, bro?" He tries to slide down the wall so that he isn’t towering over you, but it doesn’t quite work. "Does that mean—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa I didn’t say that." His disappointment is tangible. You feel bad but he can’t honestly expect you to just give into him like that, not when he hurt you, too. He wasn’t the only one who could qualify as the victim here. In fact, he hurt you before you’d ever hurt him.

“Ya know, Tavbro is gone. He moved to Texas.”

“That doesn’t mean a thing to me.” You snap. “The fact is that you got caught and I don’t know if I can trust you Gamzee. Maybe you’re clean… but how am I supposed to know if you’ll fuck me over again, hm? I’m scared of that.”

"You won’t believe me, but I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong, bro. I was like to believe it was stuff friends did together."

"That is a load of fucking horse shit, you insensitive, drug brained—"

"Listen to me, mother fucker!" Gamzee shouted, his hands wrapping tightly around your waist. You shut up immediately. "Just listen to me bro, I’m trying to explain my mother fucking self to you and you’re just like to believe I’m bullshitting you bro, and I’m swearing it ain’t like that, I—" he struggles to find the right words. "You know me bro. Maybe better than I know myself. I’m really mother fucking stupid, but I’m not so stupid to not realize that what I did was really wrong, Karbro."

You hesitate to say anything, but you need to. You’d forgotten how strong he was and his hands around you were starting to cut of blood circulation. “Hey, Gam?”

"Yeah?"

"You’re hurting me." You whisper. When he inhales to say something you shake your head, though he probably couldn’t see you do it. "No, you’re holding me too tight. You’re actually and physically fucking hurting me, idiot."

"Oh!" He immediately loosens his grip. "I forgot how mother fucking fragile you are. Sorry, bro."

"I am not fragile!" You snap. "You’re just freakishly strong. If you weren’t such a freak, then maybe I could have handled it, but no you are, and it was hurting me. You probably left fucking bruises. How the hell am I supposed to explain that to Strider —"

"Why would need to explain that to that mother fucker?"

Shit.

"Gamzee…"

"Are you going with that mother fucker, Karbro?"

Shit. Shit. Shit. God, you’re such a fucking moron.

"No! Of course not, we just—"

"You are, aren’t you?"

"No, Gam, just calm down—"

Gamzee was twitching with anger. “I hate that mother fucker, and you thought it was OKAY to mother fucking go with him? Are you stupid, Karkat?”

"Gamzee—"

"He’s a blasphemous mother fucker, why the mother fuck did you think it was chill to just go with him, huh? Did you just think it would be chill, bro? Did you—"

"Gamzee, shut up right now, or so help me —"

"What will you do, mother fucker?" His voice dropped about three octaves in that one sentence and sent cold fingers sliding down your spine. You swallow hard and reach blindly up to touch his face. He’s shaking hard, and his hands are tight on your waist again, his fingers clawing into your hips, but you were used to it.

"Gamzee," you whisper, "calm down. It’s okay, it’s not like that."

"Then why the fuck do you have to explain shit to him Karbro, why?" His voice broke in weird places. "If it’s not like that?"

"It was—I mean to say, yes, I was with him for a while. Now we’re just really close friends—"

"You’re lying to me."

"No—"

"Don’t do that, bro…" Gamzee’s hand relaxed slightly but didn’t release you entirely. "I know when you’re lying to me."

You scoff. “Yeah right. I’m not lying!”

"STOP!" He shouts and shoves you against the opposite wall. "I hate it! You mother fucking kept me in the dark and kept me believing one day we’d come out and tell everyone we’re together. Three years, Karbro, three mother fucking years! Did you ever think to give me a hint that it wasn’t what you meant to do ever?"

You don’t know what to say. “Gam, I—”

"No! I knew what you were doing. I was like to think you just needed time to be chill with the idea, but after three years, bro, even I was getting tired of your shit."

"Don’t fucking put this on me!" You snap, jabbing him in the chest with your index finger. "You’re the idiot who decided to get doped up on drugs and then cheat on me!"

"CAUSE I THOUGHT WE WERE FINISHED."

You press your lips into a thin line and cross your arms tightly. “Go on.”

"It was mother fucking horse shit, I knew what I was all up and doing with Tavros, I knew! But I was hurting." His voice broke. "I hurt, too, Karkat. I wasn’t always smoking or whatever, I wasn’t always high, bro. When we were together, I stayed sober cause I knew you hated how I acted when I wasn’t." He paused for a long time. At this point your eyes had adjusted to the darkness and you could see the vague outline of his hands rubbing his face.

"I was like to think," he whispered, "that maybe you would realize you still wanted me if you saw I was starting to move away from you. I was stupid, Karbro, but I was mother fucking desperate, too." There was a very long and very pronounced silence. "And then you caught me, finally, and left, screaming and crying. I knew then I’d been stupid, but you gotta put yourself in my shoes, Karkat. You gotta realize that I thought what I was doing would help the situation."

"You are an idiot." You mutter, running your hands over your eyes and then against your shirt.

"I know!" He laughed weakly, but when you didn’t return the sentiment, he sighed. "And then I started up again with the heavy stuff. Tavros had dipped cause his dad got a new job and I was alone. Kurloz found me in the bathroom. I would be dead right now if it weren’t for him." He hesitated. "I actually don’t remember much about the hospital. I was asleep a lot. Bro said I kept mumbling in my sleep."

You locate a stray thread on your jacket sleeve and begin yanking on it. “And did he understand what you were mumbling?”

"Karkat."

"What?"

"No, Karkat. That’s what I was mumbling, bro."

"Oh." You stop messing with the thread. "Shit."

"Yeah."

Another long and awkward silence passed before you yanked the thread completely off and sighed loudly. It was getting really stuffy in this closet, so when you tried to yank off your jacket, you ended up getting stuck.

"Goddamn it!"

"Need some help bro?"

"No!" You snap. "Don’t touch me!"

"Well, I’ve had to help you before."

You freeze. “You did not just bring that up.”

"Oops." He didn’t sound sorry at all. Gamzee reached over to you, blindly looking for the hem of your jacket, and helped you pull it over your head. You snatched it from him and hugged it to your chest.

"That was a one time thing." You growl. "I was upset and vulnerable, and I also thought we’d promised to never speak of it."

"You can’t blame a mother fucker for thinking about the good days." You could hear the smile in his voice. "I remember it really good, bro. You were really cold and all snuggled up to me, and you said, ‘Hey, Gam, have we ever kissed before,’ and I was like, ‘Nope, I don’t mother fucking think so, Karbro.’"

"Shut up!" You groaned, slapping your hands over your ears. "No more, please."

"You don’t wanna hear about it because you miss it."

"That is the stupidest thing I think I have ever heard!"

"Come on bro, think about it." He paused. "Let’s test it out. I’ll kiss you, and if you kiss me back, I’m right. If I’m wrong, you can punch me in my face."

Your heart all but stopped. “No, fuck you!”

"We’re doing it no matter what, bro." Gamzee said quietly. "I’m here to make a point. I want you to be on board bro, but I don’t mind making you do it. I know I’m going to be right. You know, too, that’s why you’re so mother fucking scared."

"I am NOT scared!"

"Then prove me wrong, Karbro."

You grimace. “This is stupid.”

"Only after you prove me wrong."

You huff, drop your jacket to the floor, and Gamzee reaches forward to wrap his arms around your waist in a much gentler fashion than the other two times. You stand up on your tiptoes and wrap your arms around his neck, very familiar with this position.

"When I prove you wrong, I’m going to punch you in the fucking mouth until you start to lose teeth."

"I’ll let you do it, mother fucker." Gamzee is grinning. You can see his stupid, painted clown face when you’re this close. "But only if you win."

"And what if I lose?" He leans forward until you feel his lips brushing lightly against yours.

“Then I will get to have you again. And Dave-mother fucking-Strider can take his blasphemy elsewhere.”

You swallow hard, your heart thumping painfully against your ribcage. Your fingers are already in his unruly hair, and you can feel him grinning against your lips. You hate this idea. You hate it because you know, with every fiber in your being, that you will lose. But you will win if you have to.

The only problem is, how long are you supposed to hold up before you can be declared the winner of this little challenge?

Gamzee closes the rest of the very short distance between the two of you. You don’t kiss him back, just stand there, your eyes shut as tightly as they can be shut, but that doesn't mean you don't feel him. His lips are warm and soft, just like you remember, and a small part of you is screaming at you to kiss him back, but the other half is just itching to punch him in the mouth. How dare he think it could be so easy to earn you back!

Gamzee breaks away from you, sliding one of his hands underneath your shirt so his hand can be pressed against your bare skin. "You aren’t trying, Karkat." He whispers, his voice deep again. "You’re losing if you don’t try."

"Shut up, I am trying."

He sighs and slides down the wall, kicking up the leg you’re standing over and pressing it against the wall. You hiss in pain, still sensitive from earlier, but he ignores your discomfort and pulls you closer now that you’re at eye level with him. He presses short, sweet kisses against your jaw, cheeks, neck, and finally your lips.

"How much of this am I supposed to endure before I win, Gam?" You whisper tightly, refusing to open your eyes.

"Until I know that you refuse to participate because you honestly don’t want to, bro." He kisses you again, his fingers tracing warm circles on your back. "You’re lying to yourself now, mother fucker." 

"Shut up, no I am not."

"Whatever you say."

Without warning, Gamzee grabs the hem of your shirt and yanks in over your head, tossing it to the floor, unable to be seen in such darkness.

"You asshole!" You snap, your eyes opening wide and looking to the floor. You couldn’t see it. "That was not part of the deal."

"Oops." He grabs the sides of your face and looks you right in the eyes. His purple contacts are bright despite the darkness of the room, and you swear under your breath. "It worked though. New rule, bro. You’re not allowed to close your eyes."

"You fucking—"

"Shh." He paps your face and leans forward, his eyes half-lidded but still open, and kisses you again. Your arms hang limp by your sides, and despite how hard you try not to cry, your vision blurs with tears. 

He wanted your eyes open so you could see his expression when he kissed you. And it hurt so badly, in every part of your body, to see such a mixture of pain and love in those purple masked eyes. You pushed yourself away from him, shaking your head and wrapping your arms around your bare chest.

"I can’t do it, Gam—I can’t—"

"No, Karkat, you won’t." He said quietly, grabbing your chin to tilt your face back up. "You won’t, cause you’re so mother fucking stubborn and set in your ways."

"Just stop. I win."

"Even if you lost?"

You frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

"Karkat… you miss me. I’m not being vain, you just do, I can see it. You’re forcing yourself to not feel the things I made you feel two years ago, bro. You’re making me feel it all for the both of us. You’re losing even if you’ve won. Because you’re denying youself the happiness you want for yourself, mother fucker."

"You’re an idiot." You snap. "I don’t need happiness from a relationship."

"Not just any mother fucking relationship, Karkat."

"Shut up!"

"New rule." Gamzee snapped suddenly. "You aren't allowed to hold back. You have try, bro, really try and feel what you felt. Don't reject it because of the bad shit. If you do, well, you can guess what comes off next."

You glare at him. “Fine. You don’t want restriction? You want effort and genuine fucking feelings?”

You reach up and grab the hair on the back of his head, tugging his face down until your lips met. They moved together in total synchronization, your free hand moving to wrap around his throat. You teethe his bottom lip, eliciting an excited groan from him. You press your leg against his groin and his nails dig into your back. You break away with a hiss when he breaks skin, glaring at him.

He laughs breathlessly, still gasping for air. “Whoa.”

"There, you got your no restrictions."

He’s still laughing. “I win, then.”

It takes you a moment to realize what had just happened. When it dawns on you, you feel a rage well inside of you that you’d never known before. The second you inhale to unleash your fury, though, Gamzee is kissing you again immediately it shuts you up, and without thinking, your eyes flutter closed and you’re kissing him back.

"Okay, okay," he whispers, leaning back just enough to break the kiss again. You can feel his lips moving against yours, and without thinking, you lean in but he keeps you away. You frowned, dazed. "Now I win, mother fucker."

"You—"

"Shh." He paps your face and chuckles, kissing you once. Twice. Three times. Your head feels like it’s spinning. "I picked up a thing or two from my bitchtits therapist. She said reverse psycho-whatever works wonders on little mother fuckers like you."

"I hate you." You mumble, wrapping your arms around him and clasping your hands together. "I hate you so fucking much. Satan could not even fathom just how much I hate you."

"Aw, Karbro, you don’t mean that."

You hesitate. “Maybe you’re not that stupid. But you’re still an idiot.”

"That means a lot to me, Karkat."

"Seriously?"

"Well, duh, mother fucker." He chuckled. "I really missed you."

"Imissedyoutoo."

"What?"

"Nothing. How do you think we’ll get out of here?"

"Shit, I don’t even know, mother fucker." He grinned and held you tight against him. "But I don’t mind. Gives me some quality alone time with my reddest of bros."

“‘Reddest of bros’?” You raise one of your eyebrows. “What the fuck is that?”

"I’m not sure, I just felt like I should say it." He shrugged. "Seemed natural."

"Whatever you say, idiot."

He laughed. “Love you, bro.”

"Mhm." You rest your head against his chest and sigh, "IloveyoutooGam."

**Author's Note:**

> I might make more chapters. You'll know when I know; by that, I mean you'll know when I post more chapters. Hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to tell me how much it sucked. ;D


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